[ it's a weak laugh, an awkward hand clasping the back of his neck. it's akira avoiding eye contact and staring at hibiki's shoulder and not his face. it's his stomach in knots.
but hibiki could have lied. he could have gone on pretending. that must mean something. sure it had been under stressful circumstances but he willingly divulged it. he could have lied an akira wouldn't have known. there's a good person in there.
and unlike fake friends - unlike akechi and anyone else who did him wrong - hibiki's aim was never to hurt. and the raw emotion clawing at his insides? it's still there and hasn't numbed.
so like an impulsive teenager, akira springs into action with thieflike reflexes and tangles his hand back into hibiki's hair and drags him into a bruisingly hard kiss. ]
[ Unaware of what's about to happen, Hibiki smiles softly, not quite sure how he managed to do that in the first place. ]
I actually happen to know a—
[ The small sound Hibiki makes just before Akira closes the distance between their lips fades away quick, but he realizes that as much as his common sense is telling to push the other boy away and run...well, wouldn't it be nice if things were that easy? Before he knows it. Hibiki responds to the kiss with putting some pressure into it, his hands clasping at the back of Akira's neck and his whole body pressing forward, just like he wanted to make up for all these days they haven't seen each other.
How bad at keeping the distance can one person be? ]
[ he feels like he's opening pandora's box and exposing himself here. like he's finally admitting to his own vulnerability and weaknesses. he knows it makes zero sense and by all means he should vehemently dislike and distrust him but... he can't turn the switch off. ]
I just... [ words have always been so hard. he hasn't pulled away and is just hesitantly murmuring around hibiki's lips. ] Don't want to miss you anymore.
[ The kiss leaves him breathless, but Akira's words that follow it aren't making this easier for Hibiki's heart thumping in his chest nor the knots in his stomach. ]
I don't want to miss you either, Akki. I can't be just friends with you, not anymore. [ Whispering against Akira's mouth, he plants a shy kiss at his lower lip. ] I'm so sorry. For everything. For hurting you.
[ As he continues, tears start to form at the corners of his eyes. Being close to Akira again is what he has been craving for the past few days and it's happening. Soon, it might become difficult to contain himself. Which, ultimately, might not be a bad thing...keeping things to himself didn't do him any good, after all. ]
[ relief surges through him just as much as anxiety does. there's still a lot to work on, a lot that hasn't been said yet, but he's willing to try. it's true that something broken is never the same once it's fixed, but that doesn't mean it's any less beautiful. any less spectacular. it's just different. ]
We can stay.
[ together, in for the night, in for the long haul. his hand shakily tangles further in hibiki's hair and he lightly scratches at his scalp. ]
I love you, you know. [ softer and he feels bad that the first time he had even mentioned it was over a text. ]
[ That text flashes in front of his eyes upon hearing these words. Back then, it made Hibiki cry hopelessly. He hurt a person who loves him, there aren't many things worse than this. Now, however, no matter how hard he tries to calm himself down, it's impossible for him to stop sobbing. It's embarrassing, but it's easier than putting everything into words.
That being said, Hibiki doesn't want it to go easy on himself just like he did when he hid the truth for his own selfish reasons. ]
I never considered myself a person who could fall in love with someone. But a certain thief proved me wrong.
[ It's still no good, not clear enough, even if it's obvious what he's trying to tell Akira here. ]
[ the words are warm. he's never quite felt like this before. certainly he's heard it from his parents and with his friends but... but this is brand new. this feels amazing. it makes him smile a bit shyly. ]
Hey. Crying isn't cute.
[ it's a joke of course and he lets his hand drop from hibiki's hair to come around front and swipe away at the tears, pad of his thumb brushing along his cheekbone. ]
[ His boyfriend is, though. The smile Hibiki has a chance to witness is making his heart flutter. Perhaps it shouldn't be so surprising to him, but he needs a moment for the thought to sink in. He still can make Akira smile like that. It's...it's the best feeling. ]
Mhm.
[ Without letting go of Akira, Hibiki steps inside. The last time he was here hadn't been too long ago, but it feels like an eternity now. ]
[ there's a curious tilt of his head, and he's most definitely teasing at this point. his hand finds hibiki's and threads their fingers together as he leads him across the small distance from the door to the bed. huts are inherently small after all. ]
First of all, there aren't many people who decide to trust someone like me.
[ Hibiki being unexpectedly strict might not have been the only reason why he always had trouble making friends and acquaintances.
Ah, Akira's bed. It's ever so comfortable, too. He's never been so thankful for the huts being so small. ]
And you made me realize something very important.
[ Aware of the fact that Akira might not like this story, Hibiki isn't sure if he should tell him this right here and right now. On the other hand, he doesn't want to hide it either. ]
[ he's realized that he needs the full story. it's been a problem in the past, him letting his emotions and internal compass steer him off the right path. everyone has a story, everyone has reasons. he truly believes that. he just needs to embrace the ideology more often. ]
I'll listen for as long as you need.
[ this time he won't jump to rash conclusions or let his own world views jade him. he's going to embrace this with an open-mind. a lovestruck one, but that's beside the point as he tugs hibiki close, seating himself squarely on the bed. ]
A little while before arriving at this island, I was told that in order to protect my superior I need to kill a certain person. After reaching adulthood, I took another person's life once and this would be the second time. Don't get me wrong, there's no excuse for what I've done in the past, I'm aware of that. But it's the truth.
[ Hibiki takes a deep breath. He's leaving something out of the picture again, but this pause hopefully will let him gather his thoughts. He tries to look Akira in the eyes at all times, even though it is a bit nerve-wracking. ]
I've assassinated many people as a child, however. I can't even tell you how many. Lord Kagura didn't want me to follow that path. He's a slacker, a womanizer and an alcoholic, but...a good person all the same.
[ This boy, never misses a chance to diss Kagura even if just a little. Even at a time like this. ]
I'd like to get back to what I've said in the beginning. To that person I was supposed to kill in order to save him. That person also happens to be someone he deeply cares about. Her name is Noel Vermillion and...I made up my mind to kill her. Back then, I didn't understand Lord Kagura's feelings, but I do now. My duty is to protect and serve him. Killing Noel-san would mean ignoring his orders, ignoring how important she is to him. I cannot...simply ignore that now. I have someone who's important to me too, after all.
[ Hibiki's hand seeks Akira's at this point and gives it a light squeeze before continuing. ]
I'll find another way to save him, I've made my decision.
[ the beginning of the story renews the sense of dread and painful tendrils that had rooted in akira's gut ever since he found out about hibiki's past. but as promised, he listens to the remainder of the story. and he's so glad he does.
akira nods, slow and understanding, piecing it all together. apparently it's capable of undergoing a change of heart without the metaverse. go figure!
hesitantly, akira reaches out to sweep hibiki's bangs back over his ear. ]
I'll help you. I won't leave your side again. We can find another way together.
I wanted to tell you sooner, but...I couldn't bring myself to do it. I've never been this close to anybody, I didn't want to ruin it.
[ And he still did. It was inevitable, however. He couldn't have been hiding this forever. ]
If I had made myself clear from the beginning...I wouldn't have hurt you so much. It was selfish on my part, but I didn't want you to give up on me. I'm truly sorry about that.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
secrowtary) wrote2016-11-16 12:45 am
no subject
[ it's a weak laugh, an awkward hand clasping the back of his neck. it's akira avoiding eye contact and staring at hibiki's shoulder and not his face. it's his stomach in knots.
but hibiki could have lied. he could have gone on pretending. that must mean something. sure it had been under stressful circumstances but he willingly divulged it. he could have lied an akira wouldn't have known. there's a good person in there.
and unlike fake friends - unlike akechi and anyone else who did him wrong - hibiki's aim was never to hurt. and the raw emotion clawing at his insides? it's still there and hasn't numbed.
so like an impulsive teenager, akira springs into action with thieflike reflexes and tangles his hand back into hibiki's hair and drags him into a bruisingly hard kiss. ]
no subject
I actually happen to know a—
[ The small sound Hibiki makes just before Akira closes the distance between their lips fades away quick, but he realizes that as much as his common sense is telling to push the other boy away and run...well, wouldn't it be nice if things were that easy? Before he knows it. Hibiki responds to the kiss with putting some pressure into it, his hands clasping at the back of Akira's neck and his whole body pressing forward, just like he wanted to make up for all these days they haven't seen each other.
How bad at keeping the distance can one person be? ]
Akira...?
no subject
[ he feels like he's opening pandora's box and exposing himself here. like he's finally admitting to his own vulnerability and weaknesses. he knows it makes zero sense and by all means he should vehemently dislike and distrust him but... he can't turn the switch off. ]
I just... [ words have always been so hard. he hasn't pulled away and is just hesitantly murmuring around hibiki's lips. ] Don't want to miss you anymore.
no subject
I don't want to miss you either, Akki. I can't be just friends with you, not anymore. [ Whispering against Akira's mouth, he plants a shy kiss at his lower lip. ] I'm so sorry. For everything. For hurting you.
[ As he continues, tears start to form at the corners of his eyes. Being close to Akira again is what he has been craving for the past few days and it's happening. Soon, it might become difficult to contain himself. Which, ultimately, might not be a bad thing...keeping things to himself didn't do him any good, after all. ]
Do you think we really have to go anywhere?
[ It would be a waste of a good costume, but. ]
no subject
We can stay.
[ together, in for the night, in for the long haul. his hand shakily tangles further in hibiki's hair and he lightly scratches at his scalp. ]
I love you, you know. [ softer and he feels bad that the first time he had even mentioned it was over a text. ]
no subject
That being said, Hibiki doesn't want it to go easy on himself just like he did when he hid the truth for his own selfish reasons. ]
I never considered myself a person who could fall in love with someone. But a certain thief proved me wrong.
[ It's still no good, not clear enough, even if it's obvious what he's trying to tell Akira here. ]
I love you. So much.
no subject
Hey. Crying isn't cute.
[ it's a joke of course and he lets his hand drop from hibiki's hair to come around front and swipe away at the tears, pad of his thumb brushing along his cheekbone. ]
Come inside?
no subject
[ His boyfriend is, though. The smile Hibiki has a chance to witness is making his heart flutter. Perhaps it shouldn't be so surprising to him, but he needs a moment for the thought to sink in. He still can make Akira smile like that. It's...it's the best feeling. ]
Mhm.
[ Without letting go of Akira, Hibiki steps inside. The last time he was here hadn't been too long ago, but it feels like an eternity now. ]
You're truly something else.
no subject
[ there's a curious tilt of his head, and he's most definitely teasing at this point. his hand finds hibiki's and threads their fingers together as he leads him across the small distance from the door to the bed. huts are inherently small after all. ]
Wanna explain what that "else" is?
[ someone please muzzle this boy. ]
no subject
[ Hibiki being unexpectedly strict might not have been the only reason why he always had trouble making friends and acquaintances.
Ah, Akira's bed. It's ever so comfortable, too. He's never been so thankful for the huts being so small. ]
And you made me realize something very important.
[ Aware of the fact that Akira might not like this story, Hibiki isn't sure if he should tell him this right here and right now. On the other hand, he doesn't want to hide it either. ]
Just...listen to the very end, please.
no subject
[ he's realized that he needs the full story. it's been a problem in the past, him letting his emotions and internal compass steer him off the right path. everyone has a story, everyone has reasons. he truly believes that. he just needs to embrace the ideology more often. ]
I'll listen for as long as you need.
[ this time he won't jump to rash conclusions or let his own world views jade him. he's going to embrace this with an open-mind. a lovestruck one, but that's beside the point as he tugs hibiki close, seating himself squarely on the bed. ]
no subject
[ Hibiki takes a deep breath. He's leaving something out of the picture again, but this pause hopefully will let him gather his thoughts. He tries to look Akira in the eyes at all times, even though it is a bit nerve-wracking. ]
I've assassinated many people as a child, however. I can't even tell you how many. Lord Kagura didn't want me to follow that path. He's a slacker, a womanizer and an alcoholic, but...a good person all the same.
[ This boy, never misses a chance to diss Kagura even if just a little. Even at a time like this. ]
I'd like to get back to what I've said in the beginning. To that person I was supposed to kill in order to save him. That person also happens to be someone he deeply cares about. Her name is Noel Vermillion and...I made up my mind to kill her. Back then, I didn't understand Lord Kagura's feelings, but I do now. My duty is to protect and serve him. Killing Noel-san would mean ignoring his orders, ignoring how important she is to him. I cannot...simply ignore that now. I have someone who's important to me too, after all.
[ Hibiki's hand seeks Akira's at this point and gives it a light squeeze before continuing. ]
I'll find another way to save him, I've made my decision.
no subject
akira nods, slow and understanding, piecing it all together. apparently it's capable of undergoing a change of heart without the metaverse. go figure!
hesitantly, akira reaches out to sweep hibiki's bangs back over his ear. ]
I'll help you. I won't leave your side again. We can find another way together.
no subject
[ And he still did. It was inevitable, however. He couldn't have been hiding this forever. ]
If I had made myself clear from the beginning...I wouldn't have hurt you so much. It was selfish on my part, but I didn't want you to give up on me. I'm truly sorry about that.