A little while before arriving at this island, I was told that in order to protect my superior I need to kill a certain person. After reaching adulthood, I took another person's life once and this would be the second time. Don't get me wrong, there's no excuse for what I've done in the past, I'm aware of that. But it's the truth.
[ Hibiki takes a deep breath. He's leaving something out of the picture again, but this pause hopefully will let him gather his thoughts. He tries to look Akira in the eyes at all times, even though it is a bit nerve-wracking. ]
I've assassinated many people as a child, however. I can't even tell you how many. Lord Kagura didn't want me to follow that path. He's a slacker, a womanizer and an alcoholic, but...a good person all the same.
[ This boy, never misses a chance to diss Kagura even if just a little. Even at a time like this. ]
I'd like to get back to what I've said in the beginning. To that person I was supposed to kill in order to save him. That person also happens to be someone he deeply cares about. Her name is Noel Vermillion and...I made up my mind to kill her. Back then, I didn't understand Lord Kagura's feelings, but I do now. My duty is to protect and serve him. Killing Noel-san would mean ignoring his orders, ignoring how important she is to him. I cannot...simply ignore that now. I have someone who's important to me too, after all.
[ Hibiki's hand seeks Akira's at this point and gives it a light squeeze before continuing. ]
I'll find another way to save him, I've made my decision.
[ the beginning of the story renews the sense of dread and painful tendrils that had rooted in akira's gut ever since he found out about hibiki's past. but as promised, he listens to the remainder of the story. and he's so glad he does.
akira nods, slow and understanding, piecing it all together. apparently it's capable of undergoing a change of heart without the metaverse. go figure!
hesitantly, akira reaches out to sweep hibiki's bangs back over his ear. ]
I'll help you. I won't leave your side again. We can find another way together.
I wanted to tell you sooner, but...I couldn't bring myself to do it. I've never been this close to anybody, I didn't want to ruin it.
[ And he still did. It was inevitable, however. He couldn't have been hiding this forever. ]
If I had made myself clear from the beginning...I wouldn't have hurt you so much. It was selfish on my part, but I didn't want you to give up on me. I'm truly sorry about that.
no subject
[ Hibiki takes a deep breath. He's leaving something out of the picture again, but this pause hopefully will let him gather his thoughts. He tries to look Akira in the eyes at all times, even though it is a bit nerve-wracking. ]
I've assassinated many people as a child, however. I can't even tell you how many. Lord Kagura didn't want me to follow that path. He's a slacker, a womanizer and an alcoholic, but...a good person all the same.
[ This boy, never misses a chance to diss Kagura even if just a little. Even at a time like this. ]
I'd like to get back to what I've said in the beginning. To that person I was supposed to kill in order to save him. That person also happens to be someone he deeply cares about. Her name is Noel Vermillion and...I made up my mind to kill her. Back then, I didn't understand Lord Kagura's feelings, but I do now. My duty is to protect and serve him. Killing Noel-san would mean ignoring his orders, ignoring how important she is to him. I cannot...simply ignore that now. I have someone who's important to me too, after all.
[ Hibiki's hand seeks Akira's at this point and gives it a light squeeze before continuing. ]
I'll find another way to save him, I've made my decision.
no subject
akira nods, slow and understanding, piecing it all together. apparently it's capable of undergoing a change of heart without the metaverse. go figure!
hesitantly, akira reaches out to sweep hibiki's bangs back over his ear. ]
I'll help you. I won't leave your side again. We can find another way together.
no subject
[ And he still did. It was inevitable, however. He couldn't have been hiding this forever. ]
If I had made myself clear from the beginning...I wouldn't have hurt you so much. It was selfish on my part, but I didn't want you to give up on me. I'm truly sorry about that.